Helping strangers that have become friends.

Monday, November 4, 2013

I know that I have been trying to do a chronological approach to my blog and I will get back to that as I can. But, I wanted to write about a couple special people that I have met since I have been in the hospital and some of their trail and path in life that they have blessed me with being a part of.

I am not totally sure how things started.  A small conversation in the elevator.  Seeing each other on the Oncology floor.  Just needing to have that connection with another person that is dealing with cancer and some form of Leukemia.

I met Loraine because she started up a conversation with me about the Tigers during the play offs.  You see she saw me wearing my Tigers shirt and just started talking about sports.  She actually has a lot better handle on the team than I ever could.  She was nice and open and it was nice to strike up this little conversation when we saw each other.

She would also begin to tell me about Steve, her husband.  You see Steve had been in Korea and because of agent orange exposure he came down with a form of Leukemia that affects the lymph nodes.  Or the agent orange caused cancer in his lymph nodes and then about four years ago he come down with Leukemia.  Not sure about the specific details of his Leukemia.  What I do know is that he went through induction and a bone marrow transplant four years ago and went into remission.  They were told that they had a good prognoses to make it seven years and if you make it seven years you are home free.

At one point she introduced me to her daughter Lisa.  Lisa is a breast cancer survivor and had just this year gone through a double mastectomy and radiation treatments, but no chemo.  This was all things that she told me the first time we met.  You see us people going through cancer are pretty open about our experiences. There is not much that we keep to ourselves.

Well here Loraine and Steve are back into the hospital in year four and Steve is having fluid build up in his abdomen.  Loraine and Steve had been here for a couple weeks and they got to go home for a couple days because Steve had been doing better.

I remember the day that Loraine and Steve left and Loraine made it a point to stop by my room and say goodbye.  I was on the phone at the time and I regretted that I didn't take the time to exchange information with her.  I thought it was just a lost chance to continue a friendship that had developed out of a common situation and need. Then three days later I see Loraine in the hall and she stops me.  She tells me they are back and Steve is not doing well.  That they had a good two days, but he started filling up with fluid again and they sent him back here to Butterworth.

That must have been last Tuesday, October 29.  Steve has been having a rough time and I have not met Steve as of yet.  I would see Loraine a couple of times during this week and we would talk a little.  She is such a nice person and I can tell that it hurts her that she might not get that seven years that she thought she had with Steve.

Come Saturday, November 2, the day of the the Michigan vs. Michigan State game.  I was dressed in all my Michigan glory and coming back from a walk when Loraine sees me and strikes up a conversation.  I ask about Steve and how he is doing.  She tells me that he is not doing that well and they have him on morphine. He is still filling up with fluid and because his white blood count and platelets are so low they do not want to operate on him to drain the fluid from his abdomen.  They are trying to give him platelets and get his counts up so that they can do the surgery.  But, until his counts come up they are waiting because he will be more susceptible to infection and bleeding.

So, what was the reason for the reference to the game day and me being dressed in my U of M, Go Blue gear you might ask.  During our conversation Loraine tells me to wait a minute she will be right back.  I ask her if Steve is close by and what room he is in and she tells me 5012 and I follow her to the room.  I follow her in and she goes across the room to get a coat. In the room is Steve, Lisa and her two children.  Next thing I know Lisa is like.  "You can't be in here dressed like that."  I look up and there they are... Spartan fans! Lisa has her green and white on.  Loraine was headed back to the room to grab her Michigan State coat.  Steve is sitting there without a shirt and in his Michigan State sweat pants.  I start laughing...  I say.  "Well we all have our issues."  I say hi to Steve and tell him it is nice to finally meet him.  Steve is a little hard of hearing and on morphine so it is a brief conversation.  We chat a little bit and I have to get back to my room for my chemo treatment.  We exchange a little banter about the game and I tell them I will see them around.

It wasn't till the next day when I was coming back from a walk that I see Lisa at the nurses desk.  She looks distraught.  I ask if she is OK and I get that look that loved ones have when they know that the end can be near.  She is holding some papers and she ask me.  "My dad wants to donate his body to Michigan State University for research.  We need two signatures and we can't sign as family member and the staff can't sign. Will you be a witness for us?"  My heart felt for her right then and there.  I said.  "Of course.  Anything I can do to help."  I tell her I will be in my room and just to come by when she is ready.  That me and my wife will be there and she can be the other witness if they need it.  I also tell her.  "Tell Steve.  Go Green.  But, I don't really mean it."  Just trying to get a smile or a small chuckle out or her.

It is not too much later and here comes Loraine and Lisa.  Cindy, Karlye and I are just sitting in my room hanging out.  They tell us Steve is ready and we all follow them towards the room.  When we walk in there are a couple new faces.  Family members visiting Steve.  It is a small single room and it is a little crowded. Lisa looks a little frazzled, I can tell that she is uncomfortable with what this means.  She thanks us for being the witnesses and I tell her.  "It is his wishes and what he wants."  In hopes that it will ease some of the situation for her.  We chat a little and Cindy and I watch Steve sign three copies of the forms. We sign the forms and I make sure to leave my contact information for them to be able to get a hold of us if they need to. I ask Steve If Lisa had told him what I had told her earlier.  He said.  "No."  I said.  "I told her to tell you Go Green.  But, I didn't mean it."  It got a laugh out of him and at least it broke the ice a little bit.  We were not there much longer.  I had my chemo and lunch coming and I could tell that Steve was in pain and he needed to spend time with his family.

Well today I am going for a walk in the morning and I see Loraine.  She is on her cell phone and she pauses and I say.  "I just wanted to say hi." She motions that she needs to get back to the phone call and I tell her that I will talk to her later.  I can tell something is going on... but not sure what.

About lunch time she stops by just to chat.  She doesn't seem to be in a horrible mood.  She just wants to talk.  I think Steve was off the floor for some test or sleeping because of the morphine.  She spent about 45 minutes in my room just talking about different pranks she had pulled on friends over the years.  She had some good stories and It was nice to just talk about something besides cancer.

I did ask her at the end if I could ask how Steve was doing and what the prognosis was.  I told her she didn't have to talk about it if she didn't want to.  But she did.  She told me that he wasn't doing good and that Dr. Brinker wasn't sure how things would go.  I could tell that she is starting to accept the fact that Steve might not make it out of the hospital this time.  It is not what she wants to by no means.  She tells me some details about their life together.  That they have been together for 45 years and how that is a long time to be together.  I agree and she details how they were high school friends first and starting dating and then decided to marry.  There is more.  More details than I need to go into here.  Let's just say that cancer brings out on honesty and straight forwardness that doesn't happen much in life.  Finally she says she needs to get back and we will see each other around. I tell her if there is anything else I can do to just ask.  She says you did it yesterday.  You and your wife.  You don't know how much that meant to us.  It was meant to be that we knew each other for that reason.  You were there when we needed you.

I went for a few walks today and I noticed at one point that Steve was not in his room.  Next I know about mid afternoon her comes Loraine into my room.  She tells me that Steve had started to go into congestive heart failure so they had to take him down to surgery and get the fluid off his abdomen.  She then tells me that she ask Dr. Brinker if she should call the family and he tells her yes.  She is not sure if he will make it through the night.  That Dr. Brinker does not seem hopeful.

She tells me that if I see them tomorrow he made it through the night.  If not he didn't.  I tell her I am sorry and if there is anything else that I can do please just ask.  I then tell her to tell Steve to "go with God".  I am not sure why.  But, it seemed like the right thing to say at the time.  I guess that I just hope that he can be relieved of his pain and suffering.  I hope that I see them tomorrow.